Top 5 Hottest Blogger Fantasies

  Cooooooooooooooooool ! 
  Originally uploaded by Stéfan.

Sometimes when you have a new/unknown blog, it can get a bit lonely.

It's like you've done all the preparation for a great party, with food, music and ambiance. You're all decked out in your best party dress, and you're just sitting there on the couch twiddling your thumbs, waiting for someone to show up.

During these times of loneliness, sometimes the only thing that keeps us going is to conjure up some steamy blog daydreams and get our imaginations percolating to remind us that better times are ahead.

Here are the hottest recurring blog fantasies that get me through the day:

  Go Cowboys ! 
  Originally uploaded by Terry_Lea.

Blog Fantasy #1--The Traffic Fairy Godmother.  This is the one where I wake up one day to find that my traffic has increased by a gazillion percent through no effort of my own, as if a Fairy Godmother (or just a more well-known blogger than me) finds a way to send me some unsolicited traffic.

This actually happened to me on 2 1/2 occasions, so I guess I lead an enchanted life :-).

One occasion was a couple months ago when my blogging fairy godmother appeared in the form of David "Cowboy" Krug, who took a liking to this post about Leonardo da Vinci and shared it with his friends on Digg, with HUGE results.

I remember the morning after I wrote the post I innocently checked my stats and was flabbergasted to see that, for the first time in eSoup history, I had gotten more than 5,000 hits in less than 24 hours!

Now keep in mind that I normally get about 50 or so hits a day, so when I saw 5,000, I almost fainted.

This also happened to me when Gavin Heaton added my blog to the Z-List--which again, generated immediate huge results in Technorati, much to my joy and bewilderment.

This just goes to show that relationships are everything in the blogosphere, and not one of us can do it alone!

(Thanks again to David and Gavin--you guys gave made one of my fantasies come true!)

Blog Fantasy #2--The book deal.

Oh, I know I'm not the only one dreaming that a publisher will miraculously find my blog and offer me a book deal. This has become the Holy Grail of blogger fantasies, and it's only been made stronger because it has actually happened to a few bloggers.

Nevermind that there are 71 million blogs out there, and out of those 71 million only about 5 or so bloggers have gotten book deals--this is what the fantasy is for!

I actually think that there are some Hemingway's among us. Think about it--if you've been writing quality content day in and day out on your blog for a year or more, aren't you already well on your way to having enough content for a book?

  My Powerbook is Sexy 
  Originally uploaded by photoni.

Blog Fantasy #3--Expensive bribes to blog about products.   

I know, bloggers who accept gifts from companies walk a thin line between being objective and selling out, but I would like to have my moral fiber tested on this one, just for the fun of it.

For those of us who never get offered anything tantalizing, wouldn't it be so cool to have an brand new sexy Mac arrive on our doorstep out of the blue, with a letter asking us to try it out and keep the thing (no strings attached, of course!)?

I dream of being bribed with a new computer, expensive gourmet chocolate, jewelry, and designer shoes.

I would actually settle for being bribed with anything half decent--as it is now the only letters I've gotten address me as "Dear Bloggers" and don't offer me anything in return for giving them free publicity. (This may explain why I've never reviewed a product on my blog ;-).)

  Count-Down 
  Originally uploaded by Telstar Logistics.

Blog Fantasy #4--Having business cards that say "web rockstar" or at the very least "problogger".

Now this one really is a fantasy, and also kind of a joke, because the money I've made off of paid blogging has been only enough to buy a new pair of shoes (albeit a really nice pair!). Certainly not enough to live off of though, although I think going to a party and being able to honestly say to folks, "What do I do for a living? I'm a problogger" is just shockingly cool!

Perhaps even cooler than "Problogger" is the title of "Web Rockstar", which I learned about here.

Yes, there is actually a person with enough moxie to put "Web Rockstar" on their business cards--you've gotta love that!

One thing I don't understand is when someone has finally earned the right to honestly call themselves a problogger, why at that point decide that you want to be called something bland like "web publisher"? Ugh--how vanilla.

As  Penelope Trunk says,being a ProBlogger is akin to being an astronaut, and who in their right mind would pass up the chance to call themselves an astronaut?

Blog Fantasy #5--That my blog is really worth what the "My blog is worth" calculator says. How they came up with the figure of $220,170.60 for my blog is beyond me, but it makes me feel good nonetheless.:-)

All I need now is to find someone who's willing to shell out $220,170.60. I have a feeling this fantasy will be in existence for a long time!

Share your own...if you dare

Maybe these fantasies are common...or maybe they are kind of weird. I have no idea how odd this is.

If anyone daydreams as much as I do about this stuff, please share your secret blog fantasies in the comments.

If they're too embarrassing ;-), feel free to leave your comment anonymously (or be brave and come out of the closet!).

This post is my contribution to Darren Rowse's Problogger Group Writing Project. You have until Thursday to enter!

Comments

[Mjuboy]

#3 is my personal favorite.

And #5 too, I wonder how the hell they actually come up with those figures.

[Sharon Sarmiento]

Hi Mjuboy,

Thanks for chiming in--Oh, yeah, if some computer company (I don't care if it's a Mac or IBM--not picky at all!) would just send me a computer, that would make my day/week/month/year.

I want someone to tempt me to sell out!;-)

And about those figures in #5-I have decided to lower the price of my blog to $199,999.99.

Now that's a steal--a savings of over $20,000!

It's on sale until Friday, then the price gets jacked back up to $220,170.60.

[Gala]

Great post! I'm starting to get to the point where people are offering me services/products in exchange for reviews, & it's amazing... You'll get there!

[Gavin Heaton]

Wow ... if I had a lazy 200k lying around it would be all yours! Great post as usual Sharon.

[the Grit]

Hi Sharon,

At the moment, I'd be happy to make enough money blogging to pay for the hosting :) However, what I really want is to be listed on Drudge. That would make most excellent conversation at parties.

the Grit

[Sharon Sarmiento]

Hi the Grit--I know what you mean about the hosting! We're so easy to please--I'd be happy to make $10 a month!

Being able to use our blog exploits as fodder for party banter is a big motivator. Again, so easy to please! :-)

[Robert Hruzek]

Great list, Sharon! Ranks up there with the best, in my opinion...

[Sharon Sarmiento]

Awww, Robert, you're so sweet! Actually your post about the top 5 strangest things you've learned on the internet is one of my faves too!

*****

Gavin--re: selling my blog. That's so generous of you to say you'd buy it. Since you're such a special friend, I'd be willing to knock a few thousand more off the price to sweeten the deal. ;-) (As if either of us needs another blog to manage!)

[office hair]

Hi Sharon, this has been my fave post so far. So here are my fantasies:
A) Knowing that the people who read my blog actually get some value from it, be it advice or just a laugh
B) Being able to direct traffic to other sites I like, and
C) hopefully people will see what I'm offering and use my services!

[Sharon Sarmiento]

Hi Dean (aka Office Hair)--you're so sweet. I'm glad you enjoyed the post! :-)

Your fantasies are great--I can completely relate to the pleasure that comes from thinking that folks are reading, enjoying and getting value from the writing. I'm totally not into metrics and traffic--I get more excited about reader feedback! Yes, I can totally relate to that.

I also enjoy giving the link-love to sites I like (just added you to my blogroll!).

About readers turning into clients--do you know one thing that's weird? I don't know that I've gotten clients directly from my blog, but one client actually found me via a comment I left on another blog. It's weird how everything is interconnected and if we put ourselves "out there" then folks have a better chance of finding us.

Thanks for adding your fantasies!:-)

[Ann Handley]

Brilliant, Sharon!

My blog fantasy: That all my Blog Buddies *really were* in my (actual) community...! But then I guess they wouldn't be blog buddies, would they... hmmm.

[Kristin Gorski (KG)]

Sharon — I think you should TOTALLY get those "Blog Rockstar" business cards.

Oh, and the "what my blog is worth" thing --- gonna check that out now...how interesting.

Brilliant, thoughtful post! :)

[Sharon Sarmiento]

@Ann--yeah, that's like trying to separte blog reality from real reality (do I really know him, or do I just feel like I know him because I read his blog?). It's a fantasy of mine too!

@Kristin--Yes, the "web/blog rockstar" cards will be back from the printers any day now.;) Now if only I had folks to hand them out to!

This is why I was impressed by the bloggers that have biz cards--their need for business cards implies that they actually leave the house and encounter in-person humans!